Diagnostic on Geek Dating

Valentines Day is coming up, and I'll tell you why I don't care.

I absolutely despise holidays where people do things out of obligation; however, I will not stop them from giving me gifts and if they ask for a list I will gladly give them the one I've been working on all year.

I would imagine it feels a lot more special when a person gives something to their other half spontaneously instead of on a day where: if you don't buy your girlfriend something, she gets pissed at you because all of her friends are getting stuff and she's not.

I've currently been going through a "getting to know you" phase with a wonderful man I met through my Japanese class. Just tonight, after class, we decided to go see both "The Tale of Despereaux" and "Madagascar 2" then to get shakes at Stake n' Shake. He asked if I wanted him to get me something for Valentines day, since we're trying to take things slow and all. I merely told him that I didn't want him to do anything he didn't want to do.

I'm convinced that the last man I dated (for 9 months) did 99% of everything he did just because he felt like he had to, or that was what was expected of him, or because I wanted him to, or some other similar reason. I hate that. I really do hate that, knowing full the use of the word "hate".

Now, for geek dating

From my personal experiences, here are some ideas:

-The "Bodies" Exhibit if it is in your area, but a general museum is great when both of you are interested in reading and understanding EVERYTHING
----I mention the Bodies exhibit in particular because that was a "date" I went on with my first boyfriend before we even started dating. We spent three hours in the exhibit making out designs in the veins of preserved organs.

-Going to a cheap theater and watching two movies in a row
----I'm saying this one mainly because it was what I did tonight, but it also wasn't the first time. You get the benefit of spending a lot of time together (and not talking that much, if that is what you are looking for), and it's like an extension on the classic date of "dinner and a movie". If you *cough*sneak*cough* buy snacks, dinner could just be ice cream afterwords (or may not need to happen, depending on time of day and situations).

-Going to a Tech Store
----Okay, so this is a highly specific preference that I fall under. Near my house, we have a place called "Microcenter" that has all the tech you will ever need, and it makes me happy just to go there. And if you are a nerd or geek, just going to a Best Buy and browsing movies, video games, and even computer-related items could be fun. Find a movie that neither of you has seen, buy it and either watch it that day or make another date (promising a second date!) Then, of course, since a lot of females may not appreciate a cheap media-browsing date... dinner... or dinner and a movie, easy and simple additions.

-Dress up like Lord of the Rings characters and go to a park (maybe not local... haha)
----HEY everyone has dreams

-Make a playlist together
----Seriously, with media nowadays this isn't just limited to music. Go on Hulu.com and make a playlist of the movies and/or TV episodes. And none of it has to be "romantic" or whatnot, maybe just one of her favorites and then one of his favorites. Whatever it consists of, when you listen/watch the playlist, you will be reminded of that other person.

-Jungle Jims
----For those of you who don't know, this is a grocery store near where I live. HOWEVER it is not just any grocery store! It is the grocery store of all grocery stores! A grocery giant! It holds foods from all over the world in vast amounts, chances are if you went to a foreign country and had a food that you can't find anywhere in the U.S., Jungle Jims will have it. It could take several hours just to wander around the store and take everything in. And don't forget to stop by the bathrooms! Jungle Jims won the award (in 2008 or 2007, the display is still up though, haha) for best restrooms in America, and for good reason! I'm not going to tell you why, because it spoils the fun!

-Make a music video
----Get a video camera, get a song you both like, and write a script. Outline what you want the video to display at every lyric line and music break, be as specific and detailed as you want to be. Then spend some time taping it. Now, this can get pricey depending on what you're doing. A song I did this for a long time ago mentioned "Ohio has the flavor of a water chestnut..." to which we just bought water chestnuts and showed me eating one, then it said "...it's not too crazy, and it's not the best but/we're not setting forest fires just outta boredom/I'd rather see a movie if in fact I could afford one". For the forest fires, we bough a tiki torch and had me running towards the woods in my backyard with it lit, and for the movies we just had us walking into a movie theater.
If neither of you are good video editors, or if you don't know someone, talk to me and I will do my best to edit the video together for you. (Just for bothering to read this blog, you deserve that much, however longer videos may need a small donation charge, haha)

-Create something together
----This goes along the lines of the music video. Paint, draw, sculpt, whatever. Go somewhere and have both of you take pictures, then make a "His & Her" scrapbook or website. When a couple creates something, it brings them together in the process because they are aiming for a common goal by working together. Then at the end you can both sit back with a feeling of accomplishment in yourself, your partner, and your status as a couple.

-Movie marathon
----Seriously, watch all three Lord of the Rings movies (I recommend the cast commentaries on the extended editions if you're really into it), watch all the Star Wars Movies, or a Star Trek season, or a Dr. Who season *cough*tenthsoI'mtold*cough*, or even Monty Python movies. There are also short anime seasons you could watch entirely, or maybe watch four episodes of an anime then switch it to a different anime (repeat as necessary).

-Bake a Cake and Eat it Too
----I recommend Funfetti

-Have a Picnic
----Don't forget frolicking... you gotta have frolicking with a picnic.

-Go to a Bookstore
----Seriously, browsing a bookstore can get interesting... especially if you both pick up something like a book full of Chuck Norris jokes and start reading them off to each other. Find an interesting book on science, or how-to-do, computers, or something of the like; something that you both want to know more about. Buy two and have your own mini-bookclub.

-Hanging out at a house
----Because I'm in college, it is important to note that I am writing this in a perspective where I am still living with my parents, and so are the men I have dated. My room is in a corner of our basement where I have no windows, just a single door across from the door that leads to our garage. So, when hanging out at my house: I have a bed, a futon (in couch form), a television, a computer, and currently a small table (square, in the middle of my room). The man I'm currently dating came over the other night and met my parents (lucky him). We preceded into my room where I sat on my bed, he sat on the futon, and we watched youtube videos and such for a couple hours (my computer is on a desk at the foot of my bed, so I can lay down and such).
Other things you can do: play video games (next time he is over, I intend to play mario party, katamari damacy, or guitar hero with him), put in a movie and play a board game or put together a puzzle (or cuddle, whatever), see "create something".

This is where I should mention that sex is not an option here. At least for me and the type of men I date. I've made the choice to save sex for marriage, and so has all the men I've ever considered going out with. It's a very strong point for me.

I'm also going to end my list there. If anyone has anything to add, please feel free to comment!

Now, what if you don't have a date?

Look at me, talking like I know so much about the dating world. That's all really basic stuff, actually. I'm sure ya'll could think of a lot more creative things to do than I can.

In actuality, my previous boyfriend was my first boyfriend ever, which means I was single for the first twenty years of my life. I have more experience being single than in a relationship, so I'll tell you want you can do when your single on valentines day:
1- find a singles bar or somesuch event
2- hang out with single friends
3- Keep busy
4- Lock yourself in a closet

I typically picked option #4. Yes, yes I speak out against the idea of Valentines day... but the side-effect of Valentines day is that every single couple in the world can be seen in every restaurant, sappy movies are on TV, and I'd rather pretend like I'm locked in a closet then realize I'm spending another entire year alone. I know, totally emo, right? That is a result of having so much freetime that I had nothing to do but loathe myself.

SO! That's in the past, I'm...a... "normal"... now. However, I'm just trying to express that I understand if your really depressed on days like Valentines day or over the holidays because you're single or in a bad relationship.

I want to wish all the nerds and all the geeks a wonderful valentines day! Single nerds and geeks, don't worry, I'm sure you're awesome and everyone else is just not noticing. I would recommend everyone else needs to find another doctor as well, haha.

Dissect you later!